so many train rides. 10 in 2 half weeks to be exact. alot of quiet time to think. alot of walking, of staring at the skies, watching the sunsets and stars from so many places. thinking about people, about missed people, about people who i have a place in their lives. who want me home. everyday i think of the 'come home', 'i wait impatitently' and 'i can't wait'. and then i think of silence, awkward pauses, afterthoughts. the drastic difference.

france was lovely. usual amount of friction with my mum. abit painful at times. but at least i got things through to her. told her about my star, she didn't freak. haha. i did alot of shopping in paris -.- spent alot of money. heh. marseille i love though. the old port. the ships and yachts, the sea, the sun, the old quaint cobblestoned streets, the delicious seafood. gorgeous sunset from there. i'm all brown and toasted now :p haha. probably the darkest i've been in years. but it was all good.

i need to pack up my huge amount of shit, my life, my runaway emotions and heart, then i go home (:

should all acquaintance be forgot

and never brought to mind

sometimes i wonder what if you never came into my life. would i be happier without the heartache and uncertainty, or emptier without the memories, warmth and understanding.

i'm moving closer to that point. as each day goes by